The 64 Traits of My Ideal Mate

My dealbreakers might surprise you...

Photo Cred: Greyson Joralemon

“What are you looking for in a guy?” the girl shouted at me across the table.

We were awash with the sugary haze of Topo Chico hard seltzers at a rooftop party and had just made fast friends. We quickly descended into what could only be described as extremely girlie giggling. As my ears rang, a secret joy crept over me. I was happy to be surrounded by Americans again, a rare culture where there’s truly no limit to how loud you can be.

“W-wait a second!” I shouted back at her. I whipped out my phone. I scrolled to my Notion page titled “What I’m Looking For In A Partner” and started to read it aloud.

Now, I did not come up with the idea for this list. I took inspiration from a TED talk called “How I Hacked Online Dating” by Amy Webb. Her story is one of my favorites ever. I love to see a nerdy lady use her data skills to her advantage by applying the scientific method to something unscientific and downright silly.

So, here is the checklist I shared with the girl at the house party, importance points and all.

* Disclaimer: The intention of this list is humor only. It is not comprehensive and only reflects my imperfect thoughts at the time I wrote it. I may change my preferences at any time, including dating women again. When I asked my male friend about the list, he said, “The checklist is such an artifice of swiping culture. No one really knows what’s actually good for them.” I 100% agree with him. So without further ado…

The 64 Traits

So, which trait or quality did you find the funniest? Or the weirdest? Will you be adding it to your checklist for your ideal partner?

Let me know in the comments below!

Paid subscribers can read my familial goals, ideal relationship type, and celebrity relationship idols below 👀.

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