The 4 Categories of Porn I Watch, and Why

Psychoanalyzing my self-pleasure...

Photo credit: Malvestida

Introduction

I was chatting with a female friend the other day.

“I’ve never watched porn,” she told me.

“What?!” I said, skipping a breath, “If I had never watched porn, I’d probably have a PhD by now.” (As in the academic qualification, not a pretty huge dick).

I have watched a lot of porn over the years. I hate to admit it, but I probably first searched sexual images on the internet when I was 12 years old. I was hitting puberty, and far too curious for my own good. Porn is basically how I learned what sex was. And over the last 15 years, my preferred categories have moulded into hard-wired, dopamine-producing grooves in my brain.

Yet watching porn has been far from a guilt-free activity. I’ve gone through phases of being disgusted at myself for doing it daily. I used to feel that the masturbation component itself was shameful. I do it in the privacy of my own room and don’t tell anyone about it. It must be a sin. But over time, I’ve come to accept it. I’ve come to accept myself. I am a human. Humans are animals, and there’s something appealing to animals about watching their fellow specimens fucking each other. I mean, real talk though: how else was I going to get through my dry spells? Throughout college and early yuppie life, I’ve gone for months at a time without having a sexual partner. Who would I be if I had never watched porn to masturbate? Probably someone far grouchier, displeased, highly-strung, on-edge and anxious—or at least more anxious than I am now.

Sometimes the men I sleep with ask me in a kinky way,

“What porn categories do you watch?”

This question leaves me shrugging. Some of my categories would be hot to watch with a partner. While others are just…weird. Porn categories are kind of like each person’s TikTok algorithm: maybe a guy could admire aspects of my taste from afar, but no two For You Pages are the same. That’s why I don’t really share them with anybody…except you!